Tuesday 3 December 2019

A Million Dreams
Dani Atkins

Julie Williams

Huge apologies to Dani Atkin's and everyone at Head of Zeus for missing my stop on the Blog Tour in November. Please see the lovely review from Julie Williams below. Sorry once again.

This is a lovely honest book that depicts a Mother’s love in its entirety.  I thoroughly enjoyed this pacey page turner and devoured each chapter. The storyline is a heart breaker that had me on an emotional roller coaster complete with plenty of ‘lump in throat’ moments.
Beth Brandon, a widow, decides to try for a much wanted baby by using her final stored embryo but due to a terrible mistake by a worker at the clinic she discovers that is was given to another couple Izzy and Pete, resulting in a child Noah who is now 8 years old.
A Million Dreams describes the dilemmas and almost impossible decisions that have to be faced head on. There are of course no winners or easy solutions in this situation with two Mothers fighting for their child. Emotions run high with plenty of agonising tears along the way. Heart strings are pulled in every direction as the two women’s lives are thrown together in the most compelling situation.
A beautiful book that I happily give 5 stars to and would recommend to readers who love Women’s romantic fiction.

My thanks to Net Galley and Head of Zeus for the ARC digital copy  in exchange for an honest opinion.
My gratitude extends to Julie Boon for including my review on her blog tour spot on boonsbookcase.blogspot.co.uk

Sunday 1 December 2019

One Winter Morning
Isabelle Broom

Julie Williams

As it's the start of advent today, I thought I would put a lovely, feel good, wintery review on the blog! You can read my lovely friend, Julie William's review of this fab story below.

Genie isn't feeling very festive this December.
The frosty mornings and twinkling fairy lights only remind her it's been a whole year since she lost her adoptive mother, who took her in as a baby and raised her as her own.
She's never felt more alone - until she discovers her birth mother's identity.
And where to find her: New Zealand, half the world away.
Travelling there could be her one chance to meet the woman who gave her up.
But will she find the answers she has been looking for? Or something she could never have expected?

This lovely story oozes a whole host of mixed emotions, love, loss and friendship to name a few.  It held my attention throughout and I can definitely say that it is a great read.

When Genie is faced with a Christmas without her adopted Mum Anna, the guilt she holds over her death almost a year ago triggers her to get on a plane to New Zealand in the hope of finding her biological Mum Bonnie.

Genie has many unanswered questions, the main one being why she abandoned her as a baby. Armed with Anna’s memory book she settles down on the long flight and begins an emotional journey.

On arrival, Genie wastes no time in her search but discovering her Mother has flown to England!  This devastating blow is softened by Tui the gorgeous young girl with learning difficulties who is revealed as her sister.

As she learns more about Bonnie, a shared passion of horses enhances the connection between them and this helps her with her own demons. A spark with Kit a worker at the stables helps her grief with his kindness and honest nature.

Bonnie meanwhile, on the other side of the world in England, is not being so brave so decides to write her story while being holed up at an old friends home. Having found herself pregnant at 18 and in a different country away from her family, Bonnie had some pretty tough decisions which affected her life daily.

One Winter Morning is packed with some great characters which I warmed to straight away and of course the beautiful descriptive scenery of New Zealand.

My thanks to Net Galley for the ARC digital copy and to Julie for putting this review on her blog.

To order a copy of this book from Amazon click here

Friday 29 November 2019

People Like Us
Louise Fein

I am so excited to show you the cover for this debut from Louise Fein which will be published next year by Head of Zeus. I can't tell you how excited I am to read this one and keeping everything crossed I will get a copy! I have a little teaser for you below just to whet your appetite...

Leipzig, 1930's Germany.

Hetty Heinrich is a young girl growing up under Nazi rule. With an SS officer father, a brother in the Luftwaffe and a member of the BDM, Hetty is the epitome of a perfect German child.
But Walter changes everything. Blond haired, blue-eyed, perfect in every way Walter. The boy who saved her life. A Jew.
As she falls more and more in love with a man who is against all she has been taught, Hetty begins to question everything. Will the steady march of dark forces destroy their world, or can love ultimately triumph?

Perfect for fans of The Tattooist of Auschwitz, The Book Thief and Kate Furnivall.

About the author

Louise Fein holds an MA in Creative Writing from St Mary’s University. Prior to studying for her master’s, she ran a commodity consultancy business following a career in banking and law. She lives in Surrey with her family. People Like Us is inspired by her family history, and by the alarming parallels she sees between the early 30s and today.

Follow Louise:  
Facebook: @LouiseFeinAuthor
Twitter: @FeinLouise

Buy links:

Amazon: https://amzn.to/2rl61Pk
Waterstones: https://bit.ly/2KRRMYV
Google Play: https://bit.ly/2DcJEOA
Kobo: https://bit.ly/2OM1iy7

Follow Head of Zeus
Website: www.headofzeus.com
Twitter: @HoZ_Books
Facebook: @headofzeus
Instagram: @headofzeus

Monday 4 November 2019

Mother and Child
Annie Murray

I am so pleased to kick off the blog tour for Mother and Child by Annie Murray. This is the first book I have read by this author, but when I found out why the author wrote it and the charity she supports, I was only too happy to take part. You can read my review of this amazing story below and I will definitely be reading more from this author in the future.

Mother and Child by Sunday Times bestseller Annie Murray is a moving story of loss, friendship and hope over two generations . . .

Jo and Ian’s marriage is hanging by a thread. One night almost two years ago, their only child, Paul, died in an accident that should never have happened. They have recently moved to a new area of Birmingham, to be near Ian’s mother Dorrie who is increasingly frail. As Jo spends more time with her mother-in-law, she suspects Dorrie wants to unburden herself of a secret that has cast a long shadow over her family.
Haunted by the death of her son, Jo catches a glimpse of a young boy in a magazine who resembles Paul. Reading the article, she learns of a tragedy in India . . . But it moves her so deeply, she is inspired to embark on a trip where she will learn about unimaginable pain and suffering.
As Jo learns more, she is determined to do her own small bit to help. With the help of new friends, Jo learns that from loss and grief, there is hope and healing in her future.

Jo and Ian have lost their only son Paul to an accident, but Jo feels she is losing everything else as well including her personality and even her marriage as Ian has become so distant.

In an attempt to start again, they move to be nearer Ian's mother Dorrie, who is more of a mother to Jo than her real one, who she is not close to.

They move to a new house and Jo decides she needs to integrate so decides to join a local yoga class. Little does she know that the people she meets will change her life for the better.

Jo wants to do a run in London to help a charity that she comes across in a magazine to help people in a village called Bhopal in India where a tragedy over 30 years ago is still being felt and her friends are only too eager to join her.

I have to say that the author deals with the after effects of Jo and Ian's grief brilliantly. Reading this book brought a few tears to my eyes as I too an grieving for my dear Mum who I lost this year. 

Superbly written and thoroughly researched, you really appreciate how much work the author put into every word of this book and I would thoroughly recommend it.

Soon after midnight on the morning of December 3rd, 1984, what is still recognized as the world’s worst ever industrial disaster took place in the city of Bhopal in central India.

A plant built to manufacture pesticide, owned by the American Union Carbide Corporation, leaked 40 tons of methyl-isocyanate gas, one of the most lethally toxic gases in the industry, over the surrounding neighbourhood. This was a poor area consisting mainly of slum housing, some of it leaning right up against the factory wall.

People woke, coughing and choking. Panic broke out as many tried to flee for their lives. As they ran, their bodies broke down with toxic poisoning, eyes burning, frothing at the mouth. Women miscarried pregnancies. Many people flung themselves in the river and by dawn, the streets were littered with thousands of bodies. It is estimated that 10,000 died that first night and the death toll continued, within weeks, to a total of about 25 000. Many more have died since. There are still reckoned to be 150 000 chronically ill survivors. Their plight was not helped by the fact that Union Carbide would not release the name of an antidote to a poison that they did not want to admit was as dangerous as it really was.
The plant, making less profit than had been hoped, was being run down for closure and was in poor condition. Not one of the safety systems was working satisfactorily. In addition, the original design of the factory had been ‘Indianized’ – in other words built more cheaply than would be expected of such a plant in a western country.

This was 35 years ago. In 1989, a paltry amount of compensation was eventually paid by Union Carbide who did everything a large corporation can do to evade taking responsibility. Their comment was “$500 is about enough for an Indian.” That was $500 to last for the rest of the life of a man who could no longer work to look after his family.

The sickness and suffering from ‘that night’ goes on in those who survived to this day. What is less well known about Bhopal however, is that even before the 1984 gas leak, the company had been dumping toxic waste in solar evaporation ponds. The lining used was about like you would use in a garden water feature. This in a country of heavy rains and floods. In the early 80s, people started to notice how bad their water supply tasted. Cows were dying.

Union Carbide closed the plant. They never cleared the site, which still stands in an area of highly toxic soil and water. The water supply in that area is so contaminated that water has to be brought in from outside. In 2001 Union Carbide was bought by the Dow Chemical Company, and is, from 2018, now DowDuPont. Despite having acquired all the assets of Union Carbide they are not prepared to accept its liabilities and clear up the site.

In the months after the gas leak in 1984, the nearby Hamidia hospital started to see children born with birth defects more horrific than any they had witnessed before. These days, because of gas- and also water-affected parents, the rate of birth defects is now reaching into a third, soon to be a fourth generation. The main parallel with the kind of extreme toxic effects would be with the children of Agent Orange in Vietnam.

The only free care in this impoverished neighbourhood for people suffering from the effects of gas poisoning, or to help with very severely handicapped children, is from the Bhopal Medical Appeal. It is to them that all the money from Mother and Child is going.

In the book, you can read more about what happened in Bhopal and about how the book itself came to be written.

Author Information 
Annie Murray was born in Berkshire and read English at St John's College, Oxford. Her first 'Birmingham' novel, Birmingham Rose, hit The Times bestseller list when it was published in 1995. She has subsequently written many other successful novels, including The Bells of Bournville Green, sequel to the bestselling Chocolate Girls, and A Hopscotch Summer. Annie has four children and lives near Reading.

To order a copy of the book click here

Thursday 31 October 2019

A Wedding in December
Sarah Morgan

Congratulations to Sarah Morgan on what looks like a fabulous winter read. I know Julie Williams loves reading this authors books, so I am delighted to share her review on paperback publication day for you.

This lovely Christmas story is set in the picturesque resort Aspen, Colorado in the USA. Surrounded by gorgeous snow filled mountains and forests this book really does set the scene for a perfect Christmas. The characters are wholesome and warm but os course there are a few bumps along the way for some of them.
The White family always look forward to celebrating Christmas together in their family home Honeysuckle Cottage in Oxford but when the youngest daughter, Rosie announces out of the blue that she is getting married in Aspen, plans have to be quickly rearranged.
Rosie is an impulsive, lovely girl and after meeting Dan only a few months previously alarm bells ring for her sister Doctor Katie and her parents that she is making a mistake.
On arrival sparks fly but they can all see that Rosie is madly in love this does not however stop the questions so falling outs are inevitable. Surprises are abundant for all the family members as this delightful tale evolves, there are also laughter as well as tears moments.
The location is dreamy, a true winter wonderland in which to hold a Christmas wedding, just wish I had an invite!
My thanks to Net Galley for the digital ARC and to Julie for allowing me to review this book on her blog as she knows I am addicted to Sarah Morgan’s books.

To order a copy of A Wedding in December on Amazon click here

Wednesday 30 October 2019

The Secrets of Ironbridge
Mollie Walton


I am delighted to bring you the cover for the second instalment in the Ironbridge series, The Secrets of Ironbridge.

I read the first one in this series and it was fabulous, so am eagerly awaiting this one!

What a gorgeous cover it is and if you are a saga lover and haven't read The Daughters of Ironbridge, what are you waiting for?...

1850s Shropshire.

Returning to her mother's birthplace at the age of eighteen, Beatrice Ashford encounters a complex family she barely knows. Her great-grandmother Queenie adores her, but Beatrice's family's privileged social position as masters of the local brickworks begins to make her uncomfortable.  

And then she meets Owen Malone: handsome, different, refreshing - and from a class beneath her own. They fall for each other fast, but an old family feud and growing industrial unrest threatens to drive them apart.

Can they overcome their different backgrounds? And can Beatrice make amends for her family's past?
The Secrets of Ironbridge is available to pre-order now. #secretsofironbridge

Friday 25 October 2019

The Familiars
Stacey Halls

Fleetwood Shuttleworth is 17 years old, married, and pregnant for the fourth time. But as the mistress at Gawthorpe Hall, she still has no living child, and her husband Richard is anxious for an heir. When Fleetwood finds a letter she isn't supposed to read from the doctor who delivered her third stillbirth, she is dealt the crushing blow that she will not survive another pregnancy.Then she crosses paths by chance with Alice Gray, a young midwife. Alice promises to help her give birth to a healthy baby, and to prove the physician wrong.

As Alice is drawn into the witchcraft accusations that are sweeping the north-west, Fleetwood risks everything by trying to help her. But is there more to Alice than meets the eye?

Soon the two women's lives will become inextricably bound together as the legendary trial at Lancaster approaches, and Fleetwood's stomach continues to grow. Time is running out, and both their lives are at stake.

Only they know the truth. Only they can save each other.

I have to thank my son for badgering me to read this book! I do love historical fiction and this one has really left me wanting more!

Fleetwood is a young bride who is desperate for a child of her own, but as she keeps miscarrying, she is becoming increasingly despondent and will go to any lengths to get help to carry a child full term. Even if it means employing a local "midwife" (Alice) who promises to help Fleetwood have a baby with the help of herbs and local remedies.

Fleetwood's husband Richard is very influential within the community and doesn't want to be embarrassed in any way and will do whatever it takes to have an heir to his estate.

Anybody who is interested in history or witches will have heard of the Pendle Witches and I am no exception. This was my first read when I went on holiday to Cyprus in October and I devoured it in a couple of days.

I'm not going to give any spoilers or go into too much detail, but this is a super read and now I know that the authors next novel is called The Foundling, I am so excited and eagerly awaiting this one.

The Foundling Museum in central London is absolutely fascinating, but also very upsetting knowing that children and babies were often left on the doorstep with "tokens" from their parents for the children to remember them by when they were older.

To order a copy of The Familiars on Amazon click here

Tuesday 22 October 2019

Keeper of Secrets
Lynda Stacey

Congratulations to Lynda Stacey on the publication day for her new novel Keeper of Secrets. I wish her every success with this one as I know it means a lot to her as it is based in her home town and you can read my review below. Thank you so much to the author for contacting me and asking me to review this fab book.

For as long as Cassie Hunt can remember her Aunt Aggie has spoken about the forgotten world that exists just below their feet, in the tunnels and catacombs of the Sand House. The story is what inspired Cassie to become an archaeologist.
But Aggie has a secret that she’s buried as deep as the tunnels and when excavation work begins on the site, Cassie is the only one who can help her keep it. With the assistance of her old university friend, Noah Flanagan, she puts into action a plan to honour Aggie’s wishes.
It seems the deeper Noah and Cassie dig, the more shocking the secrets uncovered – and danger is never far away, both above and below the ground …

As a child, Cassie Hunt is bullied so badly because her so called friends at school thinks her dad is a crook, but the more she tries to defend his honour, the worse the bullying gets. So she decided to make her future more prosperous by doing something she has wanted to do all her life and that is to become an archaeologist. 

Cassie and her sister have to live with their aunt Aggie when they are growing up as their dear mother dies, so their aunt becomes like a second mum to them and Cassie particularly, becomes very close to her.

Whilst working in Herculaneum, Italy, on an excavation site, Cassie is called home to the devastating news that Aggie is very poorly with terminal cancer. 

Whilst visiting her aunt in hospital Cassie hears her aunt give a confession regarding some local tunnels and a secret that she doesn't want to take to her grave with her. She asked Cassie to go to the tunnels and do one last thing for her, before it's too late...

This is a real page turner with a few twists and turns along the way! And what makes it more interesting is that the tunnels are real, so it makes you wonder what else has happened down those dark places in the past.

Obviously, the author knows a great deal about the tunnels and has researched extensively, which makes this a cracker of a read and one that I hope is very successful for the author as I know it means a lot to her. 

Thank you so much Lynda for asking me to read and review this book and to be able to give my review on publication day is a real pleasure.

Below are some photos that the author has kindly agreed for me to show you of the area where the tunnels are. Looks absolutely fascinating.

To order a copy of Keeper of Secrets on Amazon please click here

Saturday 28 September 2019

The Slaughter Man
Cassandra Parkin
It's my turn on the Blog Tour for The Slaughter Man and I have an extract for you today (Chapter One), as unfortunately, I ran out of time to review, but hope to be able to bring that to you soon.

She’s at her sister’s funeral, and she knows she’s dreaming because the heads of all the people there have been replaced with the heads of birds. 
At the front of the church, the vicar’s surplice is made soft and welcoming by her enormous pillowy breasts. When this day happened for real, Willow had briefly laid her head against them, in that first naked moment when the vicar turned her soft sad gaze towards her and said, I’m so sorry about your sister, and her words turned a key inside Willow’s chest and the grief she’d vowed to hold onto tumbled out like coins, splashing and crashing in bright sharp tinkles onto their laps. Now, the slick green head of a mallard turns its open beak towards her and she glimpses the tongue, flat and disturbingly human-looking. She wonders why Reverend Kate wears the head of a male duck. Perhaps it’s the sardonic commentary of her unconscious on the customs and practices of the church. She can see its beak stretching and relaxing with the rhythm of its speech, but she can’t hear a word. The church is entirely silent.
In the pew three rows behind her, a cluster of students from college – the college that used to be theirs and is now, unbearably and irrevocably, only hers – sit glossy and silent. Girls and boys alike wear speckled starling-heads, their sharp jabbing beaks turned downwards as a mark of respect, and not because they’re looking at their phones. Beside her, her mother’s body shudders with tears, but above her shoulders the raven’s head remains expressionless and silent. In real life, her mother had reached down and taken Willow’s hand and stroked her fingers and whispered, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, over and over and over, senseless and endless, until Willow’s fingers were tingling and sore. Perhaps the bird-heads are masks. Perhaps the people wearing them are trapped inside, their whole worlds reduced to the simple need to breathe. Willow wants to reach up and touch her own face, see if she too has been forced to wear one, but her hands are too heavy to lift, and so she sits and waits for what she knows must surely come.
When this happened for real, Laurel was carried into church in a white coffin with a satin finish and fiddly gold handles. Willow had looked at the coffin and thought in disgust, How can you possibly have picked that one? She wouldn’t want that one, she’d want a black one, we both would. God, if you pick one like that for me… and then the horror of her thoughts crowded in so fast that she could hardly breathe for guilt. She was imagining her parents picking out her own coffin. She was dreaming of her own ending, of going down into the darkness to join Laurel. She was imagining death as an escape.
A change in the light tells her that the men are coming in with Laurel. There’s no coffin tonight. Instead her sister rides still and flat on the shoulders of four men. Three walk with the strength and synchronicity of professional undertakers, and wear the steady gaze and long, wise beaks of ibises. The fourth, his red-topped woodpecker head incongruous and gaudy, is her father. He holds tight to Laurel’s ankle, buckling at the knees occasionally as he forces himself to perform this last duty. Willow wonders if he’ll fall, and if Laurel will fold and crumple as she falls with him, or if she’ll be stiff and rigid, like a plank of wood. 
The procession lacks dignity, the ibises unbalanced by their fourth companion, his head and suit mismatched, his pace out of step with theirs. Willow had wanted him to be with her and her mother, and she was fairly sure her mother wanted the same thing, but her father had insisted. Just as on the day of the funeral, he’s so stricken with grief he can hardly walk. Just as on the day of the funeral, Willow thinks how much better it would have been if her father had been in the pew with them. 
Then she glimpses her sister’s head, which is also her own head, sees the face they’ve both been wearing and looking into since before they came into the world, and wonders in panic, Is it me they’re burying today, or is it her? Which of us is still alive and which of us is dead? What if I’m not Willow at all, what if I’m Laurel and I don’t know it? What if she thinks she’s me? What happens then? 
The three ibises and her woodpecker father reach the front of the church and lay Laurel down on the altar. It’s been swept clean of crosses and candlesticks, and covered in a sheet of thick blue-tinged plastic that blurs the gold thread embroidery of the altar cloth beneath. The ibises step back and melt away. She will not see them again. This is the first sign.
Wake up, Willow thinks. Wake up. This is your last chance. Do it. Do it now. Right now. Wake up. Wake up! And she’s not sure if she’s talking to her twin, or herself.
She knows what’s coming next because she’s had this dream before. The congregation, each wearing their bird-heads, stand, slowly and effortfully as if they’re wading through water. She doesn’t want to join them, but this is a dream, and she’s given no choice. She wants to hold her mother’s hand, but her mother is just ahead of her now, second in the long chain of people that’s forming up behind her father, whose bright streak of red feathers glow like a beacon in the spray of sunlight, shooting through the window to splash across Laurel’s closed, silent face. This is the second sign.
Wake up, Willow thinks. This is a dream. You don’t need to stay here. Wake up and get out of here. None of this happened. You don’t need to be here. It’s only a dream. She closes her eyes, fierce and tight. When she reopens them, she can feel the rustling that comes from the excited agitation of the thousands of tiny feathers, covering the bird-heads of the congregation. They’ve begun to clack their beaks in anticipation. This is the third sign.
The minister stands behind the altar, behind Laurel’s body, and raises her hands in blessing. Her father, the first in the queue – the head of the family, she supposes – mounts the three shallow steps to the altar, raises his hands for a moment in imitation of the minister, then bends from the waist and plunges his head down, down, down, into the soft cold belly of his daughter. When he turns his face to the waiting congregation, his beak and feathers are covered in blood.
No, Willow thinks. This isn’t what happened. I won’t let this be what happens. This is a dream. I won’t let it happen.
Her mother next, stepping up to the altar with quick steps, soaring on a wave of air created by the swift eager movements of those who wait behind, as if instead of clapping their hands, the congregation are urging Willow’s mother onwards by moving their arms like wings. The gesture of blessing. The dip. The pause. Her mother’s face, birdy and bloody. 
Willow should take her place at the altar now, but she’s not wearing a bird-head. The vicar bundles her over to one side, a swift kind gesture that nonetheless has the seeds of exasperation in it, as if Willow is a small child refusing to leave her offering at the Harvest Festival, or clutching stubbornly to her small silver coin for the collection plate. Helpless and sick, Willow tries not to look as one by one, the congregation take their turn at the sacred feast, each bird in its turn, the raptors and the seedeaters and the water-birds, the ones who hunt and the ones who strip the carcasses and the ones who live on honey and nectar, each dipping their faces and raising them again, eager but not impatient, knowing there’ll be enough for everyone.
Stop, she thinks. She wants to scream her thought aloud, but her throat and mouth are stopped by a mighty weight that she doesn’t dare try to push aside. In this dream, she’s always voiceless. Her inability to speak is increasingly leaching out into her real life.
Don’t ask them to stop, the vicar tells her. There’s still no sound, just the kindly angling of her mallard head towards Willow’s face, and words that unspool in her mind. This is Death. We are all Death, every one of us, and we all need to eat. Would you rather they ate you instead? That could happen very easily. They’ll probably find it hard to tell the difference between you and your sister. After all, you’re the same, aren’t you? You’re the same. Separating you from each other, that’s going against Nature. And then her gaze turns over Willow’s shoulder, and Willow has the sense that beneath the mallard-head, the vicar is smiling. Ah, look who’s here. He’s come to call for you after all. It must be because you’re an identical twin.
And standing in the doorway of the church, Willow sees the most terrible bird of all, man-sized and man-shaped and dressed in black, with its blue-black head smoothly feathered and a thick stabbing beak like a crow and bright pitiless eyes that see everything, everything, the firm young flesh of her body and the strong marrowy bones beneath, the bright leap of blood in her veins and the glistening throb of her heart. The Death Bird sees all of these things, and then he looks inside her head and sees her thoughts, and she knows she invited him here. She’s wished for him to come for her, and now she can’t send him away again. 
There are words tumbling in her throat – I didn’t mean it, I don’t want to die – but they won’t be enough to set her free. Words only have power when they’re spoken and she can’t speak now. Her voice is locked away for ever, and she’s going down to join her sister in the darkness, and the congregation will eat her body and she’ll never see daylight again. The Death Bird holds out a long pale hand. All the flesh and feathers have fallen from his head; now he is wearing a bird-skull.
He’s come for you, says Laurel from the altar, and this is new, because usually in this dream Laurel is voiceless, too. She doesn’t dare to look because she doesn’t want to see what the congregation has done to her, but still it’s Laurel’s voice, the voice which is also hers. When they were little and recorded themselves performing plays or reading stories, they would sometimes be unable to tell which of them had spoken which words, who had taken one part and who the other. He’s come for you. You have to go with him when he comes for you. That’s what happened to me. Now it’s your turn.
But Mum and Dad, Willow thought helplessly.
But I miss you, Laurel pleaded. And you miss me too. Don’t you? That’s why he’s here. Because you miss me. We belong together. Please don’t go out of here and leave me behind. I can’t bear it.
If she could speak, she could set herself free. She could tell him No, and send him away. But she can’t speak. She can’t even hear herself think over Laurel’s pleading voice, and she isn’t even sure that she wants to be rescued, because after all, Laurel’s right. They belong together, and their sudden cleaving into separateness has made a wrong place in her soul that will never, ever heal. The thought of the long years stretching out before her, the long barren decades of life where she’ll walk alone into the world with an empty place beside her, seems like too much to bear.
I’m going to die in my sleep, she thinks. My heart’s going to stop.
And then in the place between two heartbeats, the place between life and death, she tells herself, successfully this time, Wake up! 
She wakes, sweating with fright, tangled in sour-smelling sheets, warmed only by the damp place between her legs where she’s wet herself in the utter terror of her dream.
You’re disgusting, she thinks wearily, and climbs out of the bed so she can take the sheets off. 
She pads as quietly as she can down the corridor to the top of the stairs, cautious even though she knows her parents won’t wake. She spies on them just as they spy on her, all of them secretly watching each other for signs of illness or weakness, and she knows this is one of the rare-but-increasing nights when they’ve both taken sleeping tablets. They must finally have begun to trust that Willow won’t die in her sleep because they weren’t awake to watch over her. Or perhaps they’re giving in to the inevitable truth that, if they don’t begin to look after themselves in some rudimentary way, they’ll die too. Despite the pain they would all (if they ever dared speak about it) describe as unbearable, they all still want to live. The shame of wanting to survive makes it hard for them to look at each other. 
Downstairs in the utility room, she fills the washing machine with sheets and pyjamas, then switches it on. Back upstairs, there’s a damp patch on the mattress.
Newly clad in fresh pyjamas, she considers her options. If she puts clean sheets on a wet mattress, it will soak into them and she’ll have to change them again in the morning. If she turns the mattress over, will it dry in the dusty gloom beneath the bed? Or will it simply fester and degrade into ammonia, making her room and everything in it stink? She could sleep on the floor. Perhaps that’s what she deserves. But she knows she has another place to go.
She stands for a few moments at the threshold, her fingers tracing out the shape of the name on the door. Do you still want those names on your doors? their mother had asked a few months before Laurel’s death. She’d been on one of her periodic decluttering missions, when comforting piles of detritus were swept out from corners and banished, and no possession, no matter how sentimental, was safe from her assessing gaze. Yes, they’d answered simultaneously, and when their mother tried to persuade them – You’re going to be eighteen next birthday, do you really want your names on your doors still? Really? – their father had come to their rescue. Come on, let them keep their doorplates if they want to. What harm does it do? And now, perhaps, no one would ever dare to change them.
Knowing that she’s trespassing, she creeps inside. The bed is still made up, the litter of clothes on the floor mundane and comforting. When she presses her face into the pillow, she can smell the shampoo she and Laurel both used each morning, taking it in turns for the first use of the shower. This ought to be a terrible place, a place she can hardly bear to enter, but the bed welcomes her, the shapes in the darkness feel familiar, everything feels familiar, the duvet folds over her like an old friend. She closes her eyes, knowing she’s reached a safe haven.
On the edge of sleep, she realises something terrible. This room she’s in now feels familiar because it’s her room, which she stumbled out of not two hours ago, her body seeking out the comfort of her sister’s place, her mind wandering through the border country between waking and sleeping. It is Laurel’s bed she’s left wet and unmade. Laurel’s pyjamas, taken from Laurel’s drawers, that she’s fumbled her way into. And this is not the first time. When her mother and father wake in the morning, it will be to the discovery that their surviving daughter has once again left her own bed and crawled into the space that should be sacred, marking her territory like a badly behaved cat before slinking away. She’s losing the boundaries between herself and her dead twin. The shock sends her out of the bed and over to the mirror where she can gaze at the face looking back at her.
My bed, she thinks. My room. I’m in my room. This is my room. This is my mirror. This is my face in the mirror. I’m Willow. 
She tries to say the words out loud. If she can say her own name, here in the dark where no one will hear her, she’ll know she’s all right. It’s very hard to get the words out, but after a short fierce effort, she succeeds.
“I’m Willow,” she says to her reflection, and is startled by how hoarse she sounds. It sounds as if she’s been screaming into her pillow for hours and hours, the way she sounded the first week after Laurel died. As if she hasn’t been able to speak at all now for several days, not at school, not on the bus, not to her parents, not even when her mother begged her to say something, to just try, please, sweetie, just try, you’re safe, nothing bad will happen, you can talk to us, and she tried and tried to force the words out, but they wouldn’t come. Then her mother had wept, loudly and helplessly, all the while repeating I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m being so stupid, I’m sorry, and Willow had wondered if things might be better if she was dead too. 
“I’m Willow,” she repeats, trying to make her voice softer and more human. “I’m Willow. I’m Willow. My name is Willow. And I’m still alive.”
She sounds as if her head has been replaced by a bird-head, ready for her to take her place in the church and join the congregation.
When I wake up I’ll be able to speak again, she thinks. Things will be better in the morning. I’m not Laurel. I’m Willow. I’m not dead. I’m alive. I’m taking my A-levels next summer. College starts tomorrow, and I’m going. Tomorrow, I’ll do better.
The face that stares back at her looks as if it doesn’t believe her.

About the Author
Cassandra Parkin grew up in Hull, and now lives in East Yorkshire. Her short story collection, New World Fairy Tales (Salt Publishing, 2011), won the 2011 Scott Prize for Short Stories. Her work has been published in numerous magazines and anthologies.
The Summer We All Ran Away (Legend Press, 2013) was Cassandra's debut novel and nominated for the Amazon Rising Stars 2014.

Legend Press have also published The Beach Hut (2015), Lily's House (2016) and The Winter's Child (2017. Cassandra's fifth novel is due to be published in 2018.

Visit Cassandra at cassandraparkin.wordpress.com or on Twitter @cassandrajaneuk

Monday 23 September 2019

Christmas Child
Carol Rivers

I am thrilled to be kicking off the Blog Tour for Christmas Child by Carol Rivers. As many of you know, I am a saga lover and Carol is one of my favourite authors and has become a real pal to me, especially recently, offering love and support at a very difficult time.

You can read my review of this fabulous novel below, which I feel, could be read at any time of the year, it's not just for Christmas!

Christmas Child
The 2019 Victorian romance from the Sunday Times bestselling author.
A perfect Dickensian saga for Christmas.
Christmas Day, London 1880. Snow falls … a dying Irish girl clutching her new-born baby drags herself to the sanctuary of an East End orphanage and throws herself on the mercy of the Sisters of Clemency. The nuns raise little Ettie O’Reilly as their own, but the lives of the nuns and orphans are soon crushed by an unscrupulous bishop. The heart-breaking outcome turns Ettie’s life upside down and Christmas will never mean the same again.
Will Ettie ever find her friend Michael Wilson whose secret holds the key to their past? Will Ettie keep her innocence and survive the traumatic events that are about to erupt?

Colleen O'Reilly will do anything she can to make sure her baby survives, so when she goes into labour on Christmas Eve, she heads to where she knows her baby will be brought up and looked after when she's gone, the convent.

After giving birth, Colleen passes away and the baby is found outside a convent. She is taken under the wing of Sister Patrick and the other nuns there and is fed and nurtured and leads a very happy and contented life until she is 14 and the Bishop orders the convent to be closed down.

Ettie is distraught at having to leave her beloved home and the people she has grown to love, not least Michael, another foundling who she has grown very fond of.

Ettie is sent to a grocers shop, but after a while she is told she is to be sent to be a nurse maid to a couple by the name of Lucas and Clara Benjamin who own the local tobacconist establishment.

Lucas is beside himself with worry over his wife's strange behaviour and when he finds out she is opium dependent, he decides to take her to France to cure her of her demons and leaves Ettie in charge of the tobacconists at Ettie's request.

For a woman to run such an establishment in those days was almost unheard of, so when she is left to her own devices, it doesn't take long before the local villains and swindlers find out that a young woman running such a business on her own is easy picking.

Meanwhile, Terence the local butcher sees Ettie as the daughter he never had and keeps a watchful eye over her. 

Circumstances force Ettie to leave the tobacconists and rather than ask Terence for help, she becomes homeless and jobless. Therefore, the only place for Ettie to go is the workhouse.

After spending several months in the workhouse and living in fear of the Governor, Ettie finds a new position for a while, but this is also short lived and she ends up on the streets for a second time. 

The streets of London are no place for a young woman to be on her own and Ettie faces danger at every turn. Will she be safe enough to turn her life around? or will she end her life the same way as her mother did? and will she ever see Michael again?

This is another fabulously written and thoroughly researched novel by this author and one that I would totally recommend to any saga lover. If you haven't read any of Carol Rivers' novels yet, I would thoroughly recommend them, you will not be disappointed.

Thank you to the wonderful Carol Rivers for her kind love and support and also to Rachel at Rachel's Random Resources for allowing me to kick off this fabulous blog tour.

About the Author

Author Bio – “Were there’s muck there’s money!” If my family had a royal crest I’m sure those are the words that would have been hewn into the stone above it.
Mum and Dad were both East Enders who were born on the famous or should I say the then infamous Isle of Dogs. They were costermongers selling fruit, veg and anything else that would stand still long enough!

Their family were immigrants who travelled to the UK from Ireland and France, while others emigrated to America.

As a child I would listen to the adults spinning their colourful stories, as my cousins and I drank pop under the table.

I know the seeds of all my stories come from those far off times that feel like only yesterday. So I would like to say a big heartfelt thank you to all my family and ancestors wherever you are now … UK, Ireland, France or America, as you’ve handed down to me the magic and love of story telling.

Carol xx

Social Media Links –  http://www.carolrivers.com

Purchase Links  UK  -  https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B07VFQ56MQ/ US -  https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07VFQ56MQ/

One winner will win the following signed books
“Lizzie Flowers and the Family Firm”
“Molly’s Christmas Orphans”
“A Wartime Christmas”
“A Sister’s Shame”
“Eve of the Isle”
*Terms and Conditions –UK entries welcome.  Please enter using the Rafflecopter box below.  The winner will be selected at random via Rafflecopter from all valid entries and will be notified by Twitter and/or email. If no response is received within 7 days then Rachel’s Random Resources reserves the right to select an alternative winner. Open to all entrants aged 18 or over.  Any personal data given as part of the competition entry is used for this purpose only and will not be shared with third parties, with the exception of the winners’ information. This will be passed to the giveaway organiser and used only for fulfilment of the prize, after which time Rachel’s Random Resources will delete the data.  I am not responsible for despatch or delivery of the prize.

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